Update: To be fair, a great deal of inspiration for this post came from Ed "Funkatron" Finkler and his session at phpWorks 2008 Picachu pitch-at-ya peek-at-you lightning talk called "Users are Assholes" and later by Matthew Weier O'Phinney's lightning talk called "How to get kicked off my Project." Thanks for the fodder guys!

On all sides of software development, there are annoyances. Some of them go beyond annoyances and into pet peeves. Some of them go beyond pet peeves and incite open war within projects and communities. After witnessing a number of these rants - from developers and non-developers - and even sharing a few myself, I thought maybe I could make the situation better.

Therefore, I present here for comment:

The Ten Commandments of Open Source Software.

Quite often when I'm pouring through an old codebase or evaluating a new codebase, I run into a variety of things that drive me nuts.

First, there are quite often duplicated/similar function names like doSomething(), doSomething1(), and doSomething2().  Every single one does something very similar to all the others but normally there's a special case handled in each one... or more annoyingly, a not-so-special (aka normal) case.  As confusing and annoying as those sound, they're not the worst.

Next, there are often functions that are basically big case statements that perform completely different behaviors based on a single parameter.  As wasteful as those often are, they're still not the worst.  (For reference, this is often called Conditional Complexity or Combinatorial Explosion.)

Since I started my career in software development, I've read and reviewed code in a variety of languages.  In each of them, I believe I've learned a few things.  I haven't always learned what to do, sometimes it's been an informative overview of what not to do.  Regardless, I thought it'd be worth sharing my notes here:

Classic ASP - I feel a certain appreciation for Classic ASP.  Not only is it the first code I wrote above the byte-level, but it resembles old PHP3/4.  Unfortunately, it hasn't evolved much since that time.  When you find a Classic ASP app, you can count on page after page of HTML validation errors, minimal css and table-based design, and behavior that is inconsistent on anything other than IE6.

If you have more lines of html validation errors than actual code, you might be a Classic ASP developer.

Ths single most important thing social media marketers can do is...

SHUT UP.

No, seriously.

I get pitched 3-4 times/week from people offering to teach me how to blog... from people offering me how to use Twitter via Twitter... from people offering to help me on Facebook... from people pitching their abilities on Twitter, Facebook, etc.

ARG.  SHUT UP.

Let me give you some tips:

I've had this blog for over 4 years and it has 550+ posts.  While I'd like to grow the traffic (who wouldn't!?), odds are I've been blogging longer than you have and quite possibly have more traffic.

About 20 months ago, I underwent a procedure.  Although my life was never in danger and I didn't have to spend a single night in the hospital, the procedure was not without pain or difficulties.  Regardless, the last 20 months have been like a whole other world.  I benefit from greater flexibility, better vision, and a better resistance to virii.  All in all, I will never regret the final step of dropping Windows - and more importantly Internet Explorer - for Ubuntu Linux.. and more importantly Firefox.

Let's face it, we do have some things to thank Microsoft for in IE6... namely the XMLHttpRequest object.  This concept was copied by all the other browsers and eventually became the Ajax that we know and love.  Without Ajax, the web would not be as much fun and we'd still be all web1.0 and junk.

But haven't we suffered enough?